Last issue, I mentioned the necessary understanding that we as a community must recognize that sexual assault reaches beyond the heterosexual norm. This week is no exception with Anthony Rapp’s recall of an incident from his youth involving Kevin Spacey trying to seduce him, including throwing him on a bed and trying to get him to stay with him.
As shocking as it is, the apology that came after was the most appalling coming out story I have ever heard.
“I’m beyond horrified to hear his story. I honestly do not remember the encounter; it would have been over 30 years ago. But if I did behave then as he describes, I owe him the sincerest apology for what would have been deeply inappropriate drunken behavior, and I am sorry for the feelings he describes having carried with him all these years.
This story has encouraged me to address other things about my life. I know that there are stories out there about me and that some have been fueled by the fact that I have been so protective of my privacy. As those closest to me know, in my life I have had relationships with both men and women. I have loved and had romantic encounters with men throughout my life, and I choose now to live as a gay man. I want to deal with this honestly and openly and that starts with examining my own behavior.”
Using your sexuality as a shield is an immature and inexcusable.
I should not have to keep writing about this situation, but I applaud those coming forward. However, never would I expect someone to use their sexuality to defend sexual assault and pedophilia. Kevin Spacey puts all queer people in a horrible light with this apology, especially in a world where some view all people of the LGBTQIA community as “pedophilic” already.
Along with Spacey’s flawed apology is how major media outlets decide to write the headlines on these situations. One Google search reveals a slew of “Kevin Spacey comes out as gay after sexual assault allegations.” What is more important, his sexuality or the fact he coerced a 14 year old child in a drunken stupor?
This type of media coverage is not helping the situation by putting more light on the “surprise” of him coming out more than the assault.
As a part of the LGBTQIA community, I feel stunned and sickened by this “all about me” apology given to Anthony Rapp. I remember tweeting out mockingly, “As a member of the LGBTQIA delegation, we hereby reject Kevin Spacey and send him to the trash community,” which I honestly agree with.
If you are willing to outwardly associate your mistakes on your sexuality, pinpointing a minority group as a part of your excuse, you do not deserve to share the pride we have worked hard to show the world. Gay people are not the problem and our lives are not a defense for your terrible decisions.